| What am I doing? |
[06 Aug 2006|12:54pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Sweet Misery by Michelle Branch |
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Okay, I have to face it. I am going nowhere. I am studying college and for what? Just to finish a degree? I picked Management Engineering. One of the toughest courses in Ateneo. But is this what I really want? Or is it just because people say you're a sure success after you graduate from this course. Peer pressure is it? Gah! I don't know what I want to do in the future anymore.
Be a doctor after having been truly inspired by Grey's Anatomy and Dr. House? But the quality of the hospitals here in the Philippines are nowhere near those in the States! One of the reasons why I'm inspired really is because the hospitals on these shows are so nice and they've got really nice equipment. I don't think we even have an MRI here in some of our hospitals. Plus I'm not really a person who's particularly comfortable with an autopsy.
I want to be a master chef! But really, who succeeds in that profession? Especially in this country? It's just those fortunate few who get a lucky break or those who are filthy rich to begin with so they can go to some prominent culinary school in Europe. Luck is almost never on my side and I am sure as hell not filthy rich. Goodbye dream. I bury you deep in the ground along with my other unfulfilled dreams as of this day and your tombstone shall bear the writing "Here lies Meh's hopes and dreams". And I will grieve before you. Cry.
I don't want to work in an office either. I see my mom working in our office and it looks really boring. She's just sitting there. Counting money, writing checks or whatever. Gah. Never. Never. Never. I can never really sit in one place for too long unless I'm watching a really good movie or unless I'm compelled to. Like in class.
So why am I in ME in the first place? I hate my subjects. I find them painfully difficult to comprehend. And when I do finally understand what I'm studying, I am not overcome by any sense of fulfillment. A "Yes, I am learning!" kind of feeling. Nothing like that. All I'm thinking is, "Why am I even doing this?" Double gah.
I don't really know anymore. I don't feel that I have the same drive as I used to when I was in high school. It seems that after high school, I don't have direction anymore. I guess in high school, I knew that I am to study well to get into a good college and to pass high school with flying colors. I worked my butt off in high school. I studied and I never watched TV on school days. When something needed studying, I study! And it seemed to me that whatever subject I needed to study in high school has some sort of importance really in life. Except Filipino subject. It will NEVER NEVER be important in my life. Haha. In college, on the other hand, I find everything I'm studying completely useless. No matter how much I am inspired by Rory Gilmore in Gilmore Girls (the epitome of smartness and bookworminess), I can't bring myself to put all my effort into college. And I think of my mom and how hard she worked in college (She was cum laude in UP studying BS Bus. Admin. and Accountancy for crying out loud). In high school, I used to think I would work hard in college. But now I find myself slacking off.
I knew what I was working for in high school. I was working to get into college. Now that I'm in college, I don't know what job I want so what am I working for? What is the point?
P.S. I blame you ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bmchanyungco for your latest journal entry. hahaha joke:p
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| Please read. Be warned. |
[06 Aug 2006|12:16am] |
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mood |
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 pessimistic |
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Put Ya Money Up by Ludacris feat DMX & 4-IZE |
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While i was reading the journal of ieatgummybears, I remembered something my mom told me the other day. The thing is, my cousin and his friends were eating at the cafeteria of his condo with 7 of his friends at around 12 to 1 am last Friday. They live somewhere in Taft. Then suddenly some policemen came up to them and arrested them for some made up reason. I think it was something like "cleaning hoodlums in the street" or something like that. Anyway, these policemen weren't in uniforms. They pointed their guns at my cousin and his friends so they had no choice but to get arrested even when they hadn't done anything illegal. These policeman wanted to take them to some unknown place to have them detained, which is very suspicious and is parallel to kidnapping. The policemen asked P2000 each from my cousin and his friends if they didn't want to be detained. But one of my cousin's friends called his dad, and his dad called the Colonel and the Colonel had them brought to the police station. From there, another one of my cousin's friends called his dad and his dad had an attorney go after them to the police station. So the attorney went to the police station and got them out of the whole thing. My cousin is lucky that his friends had whatever connections that got them out of the whole mess. The policemen as my mom said, were on a money making scheme. They go around and arrest people on weekends for no good reasons. They ask the people they arrest to pay or be detained. 'Coz the thing about getting detained is, there's no one to bail you out during the weekend (dayoff for lawyers or whatever) and you have to stay in prison and get bailed on Monday. So, would you rather stay in jail or pay the money to get out of it? Apparently these kind of schemes are rampant nowadays. There's another one where a policeman would stop your car and talks to you. Now he has your attention, he discreetly drops drugs into your car and later will have you arrested for possession of drugs. So guys, be careful of these policemen! They're out to cheat you into giving them money!
What the hell is happening to our country?!?
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